I bought this hat over the weekend. it cost me $17. I’m pretty sure it’s the best $17 I’ve ever spent because i could walk around all weekend and say “guess how many people have petted my head today?” the asnwer was quite a few. it must be some innate human quality that if someone has something furry on their head, other people will flock to it and want to stroke it.

so, look, I just solved the problem of basement dwellers everywhere. wear fur shorts and you’ll get lucky.