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so I had figured on starting small with the smoker. make jerky or something simple. of course, waking up on saturday and going to the grocery store and picking up a three pound roast was a little different than that.

FIRST.

by the way, feel free to read this out in the voice of Harley from EMT.

cranberries, chipolte and CHALAPEEN HOES! cookin up the marinade sauce, spicin’ up the marinade sawwwse.

ain’t no turkeys for this sawse! hot pepper cranberry hot sawse marinade, fuckin’ smart!

blend that shit! ain’t no chunks in this, cause it’s going to wrap up our MEAT.

see that meat? wrapped up so it can’t fucking escape!? prisoner roast!

soaked that motherfuckin meat cube in the sawse over night then took it out and wrapped it in bacon strips! and bacon strips! and bacon strips! and bacon strips!

soakin the mesquite chips! and mesquite chips! and mesquite chips!

now smoke that shit, slow. and low. like a limbo bar.

what’s a meat smoke without a meat drink! bacon vodka ceaser? liquid bacon strips!

drink that shit! it’s goooood. like alcoholic clam bacon sawse!

time to eat! take out that meat. pitch a tent over it to let it rest. it’s got juices, and they gotta settle.

slice it UP.

we took a roast! we covered it in hot thanksgiving like sauce! we put it in a smoker and made it smell and taste like the old west!

*insert eating segment*

next time, we smoke a platypus.

also, this coming saturday I’m picking up that truck. that one right there. 2012 Tacoma SR5 4×4 full cab. fuckin’ a.

one more for good measure?

fuckin’ right.