smells like sushi

i am in a decidedly foul mood right now. half an hour ago, not so much. half an hour ago there was the usual grumblings in the back of the head that are oh so ever present, but not so loud as to really annoy me.

no, what tipped the scale is coming home after practice to find that you have no working heat apparently, it’s going to be minus 25 over night, you don’t have the greatest insulated windows, and you suddenly realize how fucking painful those few spills you took earlier on are actually feeling. so now, you’re not only annoyed, you’re cold, your knee hurts, your shin hurts, your back fucking kills, you forgot a piece of equipment a thirty minute drive away, and all the time you begin to get annoyed by this it aggravate those grumblings in the back of your head until they get a little louder and you can’t help but take notice of them and then five minutes later you’re just sitting on your couch figuring, what the fuck is going on here?

so in a fit of cogent annoyance that isn’t quite anger, i offer the following:

i know no one forced me to move here, fuck you i don’t need to be reminded of that all the fucking time.

i hate the fucking cold. i know i grew up in alberta, but i dont fucking like it. you can call me a pussy all you want, bite me then go fuck a goat i dont give a fuck. it sucks, end of story.

sometimes it’s nice to just leave things not known. it avoids a lot of fucking headaches and getting pissed off for no real good reason.

i drive a van. g’head, give it a laugh. i paid a dollar for it. go fuck yourself.

the automatic assumption that asking someone to go for coffee means ‘i want to date you’ is bullshit. i dont know where that came from, i dont appreciate it, and what’s so fucking threatening about going for a goddamn drink?

i like being single. it can be good. but you know what? it can also really fucking blow chunks. i’m happy to have made some friends here. the downside is that they’re not good enough friends yet to know that well or be a part of the group all the way yet. so while it’s nice to be invited out to things, sometimes being invited and then being told “you can meet us later because a bunch of us are already doing stuff before hand” is a) crap, b)not really respectful and c)crap again.

lots of people with small town mentalities need to get the fuck over themselves. just because you live in the prairies and havent ever visited a big city doesn’t mean you’re the most fucking wholesome person on earth. eat a dick, your ego is just as big as theirs.

i know this one is just beating a dead horse, but really, the ‘we can hang out as friends’ line? why do you need to qualify is as ‘just friends’? dont you think that by initially saying “sorry, im seeing someone’ basically infers ‘let’s just be friends’? i do. so dont add fucking insult to injury by adding the next bit. you want to know why guys get pissy? that’s one good fucking reason right there.

if you mention several times that you’re still waiting to do something that everyone else, or most of everyone else, has either started or finished and you’re still waiting and wondering when the fuck something is going to happen for weeks, it starts to piss people off.  how many goddamn times does it take to ask “hey when can I start that?” to actually have it fucking start? especially when you’ve got other people gunning for you at the same time.

you work on rigs. i get it. you have a truck that’s three feet higher than it needs to be. i think that’s retarded but hey, whatever floats your boat. you think you can do no wrong because of this. you are a douche.

if you cant drive on the highway without going faster than 80, stay the fuck off it.


1 Thought.

  1. Awe. It’s hard not to laugh because it’s always funny when people rant, but I’m sorry you have no heat. That one is definitely the kicker, not having heat makes everything 10 billion times worse!

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