fickle finklstein or something like that i dunno

i have a four day weekend.

things i wrote down in a Word file at work today:

– post it notes: crack for doodlers
– window seats are only as good as the blinds
– are there left handed keyboards?
– my finger is twitching CARPAL TUNNEL!
– fresh air is a cigarette
– could you make a cubicle with the same stuff the walls are made of in a padded room?
– office workers dont believe in cold pizza
– the roof is radioactive
– my prisoners are elastic bands
– even germs wear ties
– zoning out is picking up your stamp to take a drink
– paper architechture
– staple ray gun of doom! …shit it jammed…
– do the other numbers get jealous that it’s always 9 you have to hit to dial out?
– swivel chair = ab exercise
– apparently sunshine kills bamboo
– cubik feng shui
– i am a liner note and this is my page
– you can measure your success by the number of click pens you have
– everyone’s cellphone ringtone is more annoying than your own
– the age of your calculator is inversely proportional to your own age
– marshmallows are not napalm
– no one in an office has ever watched ‘office space’
– there is no such thing as fart proof cubicle wall
– trees must have nightmares about fax machines
– cupcakes are all sorts of exotic

today my finger was twitching and my eye was twitching and my neck was twitching
and i was singing songs

someone with a 416 area code keeps phoning here during the day when no one is home. DEAR PERSON FROM 416 WHY DONT YOU CALL AT NIGHT LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE.

i caught whatever germ # is going around the office this time but i am fighting it off better than anyone else who has it.

im getting a laptop in august.

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