hey something bit me!



brain: hey Pat, let’s go get perogies.

Pat: ok.

*insert uppitty travel music, and transition to safeway*

brain: hey pat, we need orange juice, perogies, milk and eggs.

Pat: ok brain. should we get white eggs or brown?

brain: let’s go for brown, no one else in the house uses brown eggs.

*insert slightly comical yet tasteful safeway music while items are retrieved*

brain: pat we need some fruit.

Pat: ok brain, how about oranges?

brain: dude…look at the price of fruit…you know what? fuck it we have ornage juice, let’s go.

Pat: ok.

brain: hey! what’s that bright orange thing?

Pat: well, the thing says dragonfruit.

brain: nono, that’s that weird purple thing next to it.

Pat: hmm.

brain: hand! it’s bright colours and pointy! pick it up!

hand: ok!

*hand picks up bright pointy fruit thing*

hand: ow! it’s pointy! what the fuck did you tell me to pick it up for?!?

brain: look at it!

hand: IT’S GOT FUCKING HORNS YOU ASSHOLE!

brain: i dont care! besides i control you! hah! pick it up and put it in the fucking basket!

*montage of paying for items, putting them in backpack, and leaving*

*outside, walking to skytrain*

Pat: so brain, what are we gonna do with that thing?

brain: we shall name it Jeffries and point at it like a slug.

6 Thoughts.

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