if he does that again, you can shoot him

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sometimes I have incredibly deep conversations through text messages. how deep you ask? this deep:

me: There’s a jar of pickles and pickled beans sitting on my desk. best breakfast ever.

he: Clearly we have different ideas on what a good breakfast is hahaha

me: Oh and cupcakes

he: You lucky son of a bitch

me: Yeah, but this is why office workers are fatasses

he: True. I believe I’ll return serve now though: I just got home for the day and just cracked my first beer hahaha

me: The only comeback I have is to eat another cupcake

he: Haha eat up fatty!

me: Volley: I have a three day weekend

he: Spike: I haven’t worked more than five hours in a day in 2 months

me: Save attempt: we get to try out a mobile hot tub

he: Fuck… you win

me: Victory lap without beer isn’t a compete victory

that’s right. these conversations are game changers. these conversations are the things that change the world. the only way you could beat that is by coming up with ideas to save the world while taking a shit.