i’m going to write a song about an incident that is near and dear to me and happened so recently it might have even been today and i will call it ‘The Bank Fraud Blues’ and it’ll go something like this (make up your own tune, just make it bluesey):

oh hey there bank, why why why did you lock my account?

oh hey there bank, why why why don’t you know what’s going on?

I said why why why, maybe you’ve been jacked, yeah, your account been jacked

now your account is locked, you aint got no workin’ bank card

no money for food, no money for my whiskey, no money no no

oh hey there bank, please don’t tell me no bad news

i said hey there bank, dont you tell me no bad news

i hear the words you’re sayin, and they don’t sound good at all

*here’s where the bluesey sad type solo goes. try for a muddy waters or john lee hooker sound*

they locked my account.

they dont know why.

seems like somebody, put in some money that was a lie.

and now they are gone, took my 30 bucks too,

and the bank tells me, ain’t much I can do

i said hey there bank, done locked my acount

i said hey there bank, they done gone and locked my account

now i cant get no money, no, i got them bank fraud blues.

*outro*

yeah, needs some work. anyway, my account has a hold on it for up to ten business days while they conduct a fraud investigation to determine that i was not the person who did this to myself and then phoned the bank twice and visited a branch to find out why my account was locked.

fun.