there are four lights

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when my dog farts, his ass sounds like a kazoo sometimes. I just felt you needed to know that. if the subsequent smells had a sound, it would be a terrible, horrible sound. one that lingers. sort of like when Chad farts at the bar.

tomorrow we’re going with a bunch of Aimée’s family to look for christmas trees. We’re setting ours up tonight cause it’s of the faux variety. but tomorrow we’re going to help. In my head, I keep wanting to strap both of my wood saws to my back all mercenary like and rig up a hip loop for my chainsaw. and then wear camo. so the trees don’t see me coming. or, if they do see me, they’ll think that I’m one of their own. and they’ll only think otherwise when I start up the chainsaw and stare it down like a madman.

I need to move a bunch of stuff to accommodate our tree.

and then I need to go heat up the kiwitub for a bit so we can sit in it and be super awesome in our hottub on the deck that you don’t have.

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