tire iron squeaks

whenever I look at a picture of someone with their first vehicle I get a little jealous. I’m not really sure why. and not the first vehicle they were allowed to drive, if that were the case… actually, I still wouldn’t have… no, I mean the first one they actually paid for with their own money, hard earned or not.

you know, the kind of picture you find in your parents photo albums with your dad standing next to an ’83 IROC Z with a mustache and mullet. fact: there are no such pictures in my parents photo albums, but that’s the mental picture I get all the time about people and their first car.

I paid $1 for the first vehicle registered under my name. yes. a dollar. I do not have any pictures with me standing next to it, or washing it or polishing it. really, how many people do that with a minivan? and not those dudes with the full fledged Conan Paint Theme Perv Vans. no. a stock ’05 Dodge Caravan. with bird turd on the side. hot. such a pick up machine, you have no idea.

and by pick up machine, I mean when you have a van, you get real good at being the DD cause you can pick up more people… I’ve fit nine people in it before after a halloween bar trip. I felt sorry for my suspension, but the fact it was done with the windows rolled down and all of us yelling along to some Dreadnoughts was pretty fun.

I paid $1 to own it. after I go get it back from Canadian Tire in a bit, I’ll have spend about 1500 times that amount on the coolant system.  it’s leaky, it’s creaky, it groans. in general, not just the coolant system.

i was in grade 11 or 12 when the first Fast and the Furious movie came out. after my friends and I went to see it, we went over to one of our regular hangouts (Denny’s… yeah, yeah, they had cheap coffee) and made a pact that by the end of grade 12, we’d all have tuner cars and a street racing team.

all told, we failed totally. only one of us actually had said car, and it wasn’t me. said car was an ’82 Mazda RX-7. probably not something that many high schoolers dream of as their first car, but it was a car, it was fast and it sounded good. at the time, I was driving my parents ’92 Plymouth Grand Voyager. my buddy who owned the car was taking a video class and wanted to do a remake of the movie. of course, being the one with the van meant being the equipment hauler. and of course, he wanted to do this right after my dad had spent a large chunk of change after the motor threw a rod and basically blew up, except without so much explosiveness…

anyway, he wrangled up some other guys with early 90s, late 80s beater sports cars and we made a shitty remake, and I never did see the finished product.

by the end of grade 12, I really wanted a Jeep. I also wore cargo pants, hoodies, a hat with a hot dog on it, and listened to a lot more metal. i thought it was a good fit. I never got said jeep. not that it mattered much since I spent the next eight years in university in other parts of the country with no money to buy a car, least of all afford any kind of insurance.

I will say this, every high schooler has his dream super car. mine was a burnt orange Acura NSX. no idea why. nothing could be further from the truth in the present.

anyway, i have a minivan. did I particularly want a minivan? fuck no. who openly admits to wanting a minivan when you’re in your 20s, no kids and you just moved to a new town? I don’t know if i’ve ever come to actually like it in the last two years, but I have developed an acceptance of it because it’s cheap, does what I want, and it’s transportation. I’ve hauled loads of wood, camping gear, a dog, derby people and their unwashed gear in it, and it never really complained at all. I mean, there was that whole running into the back of a guy in february and the subsequent crap that came with the coolant system after that, but otherwise, it’s been a good little soldier.

net year I’ll likely be getting rid of it because at a certain point, it just becomes a pain in the ass having to throw money at it to keep going without dripping random fluids all the damn time.

the first “Me and my new Car” picture I think I’ll ever have is that one.

and if the universe decides to play really, really nice, then that’ll be an Aston Martin DBS Carson Black. but probably not.

I had no real point here, just something to take up the time waiting to go pick up the van. I should probably clean it out this week… it needs a vacuuming.

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