i have a rickshaw bell

i do have a rickshaw bell. actually, i have two but technically one is supposed to have been given to one of last year’s second year’s who was one of the people who went to dhaka the year before i did. i was supposed to deliver it to him when i was in ottawa for an interview. trouble is, i never ended up going for any interviews. so now i have two rickshaw bells. which i guess is ok cause if i ever get a rickshaw i can do the double bell thing which was super awesome. if having one bell on a rickshaw sounds like a machine gun, then two is like a phalanx gun.

i did a rough count of how many job applications i have in my job application folder in my gmail. there are about 50. in just over two months. plus probably some others that i forgot to put in there or never got back an automated ‘thank you for applying’ thing back. you know how many i’ve heard from? five. five ‘thanks but try again later.’ given that in under a month i’ll actually have a bound and printed thesis in my hands, this is starting to crawl it’s way into my brain as something i should probably start being concerned about.

there are a bunch of things i really hate about the whole job application process. one is that strange ‘rule’ that only successful candidates will ever hear from them. i can see how that makes sense to them, but from my standpoint, i’d really fucking like to know if i didnt make it or if im going to have to try and test my patience because i dont know if it takes them three fucking months to decide who to talk to. i wonder if employers realize how much stress they cause people by doing that. actually they probably dont care do they really?

another thing doesn’t so much have to do the actual process as it does with other people you know are applying for things. that’s vague so let me narrow this down somehow. i went through the coop program at sfu for my undergrad. actually, when i say i went through coop what i really mean is, i did everything i was supposed to do and applied for everything i was supposed to and more and jack shit came of it. and we’d have these coop meetings where twenty students would come in and we’d have around table to discuss our progress. and you start to get an idea of what kind of work experience other people have and what they apply for and that 19 out the 20 people haven’t heard back from any positions at all. and then the one guy who has goes “i’ve had TEN INTERVIEWS!” with a big fucking smile on his face. and you and the majority of the people in the room try to hide the fact that you’re all glaring at him in a silent rage because you know what kind of work experience he has and it’s quite frankly, pathetic. that’s basically why i ended up going home to work for the county for three summers, cause coop is apparently only friendly to those students who have crap experience. i wont get to tuned up about that because working for the county at home was stellar. it’s one of those jobs where in fifty years i’ll think, that was the best job i ever had. of course then someone will probably tell me im senile.

anyway, i was in the lab the other day working on my revisions (big surprise) and some of us got to talking about jobs and how a lot of us haven’t heard back from anything. and then ‘well, ive had 12 interviews.’

yeah.

ok, in all fairness, that did come out of the mouth of our flagship student (no that’s not me, sorry mom).

and then there’s that situation where you spend countless hours preparing unique resumes and cover letters for every job you apply for and you send out dozens and hope you hear back from two or three at least and then you run into someone who’s like ‘i just put my resume up on monster and they phoned me for an interview.’

seriously. hair tearingly annoying. and you know what? i DO have my resume up on monster AND workopolis and its updated and it’s keyworded and it’s searchable and you know how mnay times i’ve EVER been contacted by someone on there?

yes, it’s the Smashing Pumpkins song.

i’ve spoken with one person in the last two months. it wasn’t for an interview. it was a ‘feeler’ after we were told that an employer was looking to hire two or three people out of our program. to start in april. and then after weeks of not hearing anything i emailed asking what was going on and the rather curt reply informed me that they were still ‘feeling about’ at other universities. that was this week. april is in 17 days. and they’re still ‘feeling around.’

sorry if i seem eager, but allow me to raise my hand to show you this piece of paper that you have that lists the qualifications and experience you are looking for. just in case you missed it the first time. or in case you missed it that time we discussed it. now i’ll wave it about like so to catch your attention. well sod it, that hasn’t worked.

yeah, i’ve been watching a lot of Top Gear in my spare time. you start picking up on things.

ive applied for things that i’ve found, for things my family has sent me and for things friends have sent me. i’ve not been too picky about what the job entails. in fact ive probably applied for things not directly related to policy jobs more than ones that do.

and then there’s that thing where you look at a job posting and you think ‘i have EVERY qualification for that AND i have experience with all of that!” and then it says “you must have at least 10 years experience”. im pretty fucking amazed that anyone ever gets hired to things if people need ten years of experience. sorry ive been spending so much time getting an education that i havent bothered to chastize myself for not starting a career while still in high school. that must have been a terrible oversight on my part. wankers.

everyone knows what that’s like. remember trying to get your first job? you apply and they’re like “do you have any experience?” no, this is my first job. “oh, well sorry you dont have any experience.”

you go from that to “do you have any experience and qualifications?” “yes i have much and several.” “oh, sorru we gave the job to someone with a grade 9 education. better luck elsewhere.”

i know at least five people who have no more than a grade 10 education who make from a low of $100k a year up to owning several million dollar car dealerships. in under a month i’ll have finished 7 years of university, i’ll have lived and worked in three provinces AND the other side of the plantet, i’ll have experience in settings that range from delivering confidential documents to cabinet inisters to trodding through garbage water flooded streets to deliver surveys and do research, and it’ll probably take me a few months to find a job, and i bet i won’t be making over $60k a year for five years. and a guy with a 9th grade education owns car dealerships and flips sports cars because he doesn’t like the way the tires sound.

yeah, i can see that the job market is really in tune with the demographics of the workforce.

this is why i feel no pity at all for people who work for GM or chrysler right now. boo fucking hoo, you might lose your job valued at $75 an hour where all you do is push a fucking button right out of high school.

i know that some people will say im just harping about this because i havent heard back from any applications yet, but really, stop and think about it. $100k a year to a 9th grader, debt loads and under $40k a year for people who actually have relevant experience and knowledge and have the skills necessary to actually contribute to society. and don’t act like you’ve never bitched about that because everyone has at some point.

now, i’m going to help some people in america get a several million dollar paycheque because they can yell on camera.

2 Thoughts.

  1. Don’t get discouraged about the job applications. It’s hard for employers to pre-hire someone months in advance. I’m sure you will have a lot of luck when you’re officially done school and you’re available to start at any time. If any of these places are looking for positions to fill they probably need them filled now so unfortunately you not being available until april or whenever doesn’t benefit them at this time. I’m sure when you’re in your last couple weeks before you graduate you’ll catch a break and snag a job 🙂

  2. The job search process blows. It seriously does. I think that in the last 4 years, I have applied for hundreds of jobs, all with the same duties and experience required.

    But you know what sucks even more?

    So you get a job. And you’re like, “hey-o, this job is all right! I can pay most of my bills and I”m using my education- maybe- and I am a valuable contributing member of society. Schwing!”

    But then a year goes by and no one ever listens to you, despite the fact that you are better educated and more qualified than anyone else- and you’re getting tired of chosing between paying the phone bill and going out for a beer, so you start looking for another job.

    Shocker, that job eventually starts to suck, too.

    So you know, there’s no win here. I’m bitter, I’m angry, I’m outrageously disapointed and I feel like I was LIED TO. My university degree means nothing and I have a hell of a lot of debt and I file papers for someone who used to work at a daycare.

    Balls. And not in the good way.

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