magazine on the floor

i had to run all over town this morning getting stuff for a fondue for tomorrow cause it’s my parents 29th anniversary.

then i went for sushi with m friend julia who’s pretty much the only person i still talk to from high school. actually we’ve pretty much been friends since kindergarten. she moved away from here to go teach so we were eating and talking about what we were doing in vancouver and where she’s at and got around to talking about people from here a bit and how it’s really good that it’s easy to forget about people sometimes.
i know that sounds weird, but here’s the thing… a lot of people from our grad class are already married, have never left sherwood park and still hang out with the same clique. i could probably count on one hand the number of people i know from here who went elsewhere after high school and did anything at all. ive talked to all of four people the whole time ive been back here cause it’s almost a waste of time trying to talk to anyone else. seriously, it’s been about five years since high school and that’s all most of them know what to talk about.
i remember when i moved to ottawa after high school and i thought it was the end of the world because i had all my friends here and theyd always be my friends forever and yadda yadda and then you spend a few years away from home and you realize that’s not true, never will be, and you really cant try to hold on to that. then you realize that you’d totally trade some old groups of friends for some new ones because yes there’s that much difference and yes it’s that much more comfortable and no the ones at home dont really give a fuck about you anymore.
so i come home and hear about so and so getting married or doing this and i shrug and say “that’s nice” and go on with my day. 
im going back to vancouver on monday to hang out with some of my best friends for new years that could never come close to the people i was once friends with here. ive done new years here before and it sucks. it sucks because you know that you’re not really part of that group of people anymore. and then after you stop giving a crap about it the next time you go home.
im full but there’s cheesecake in the fridge that just cant be ignored.

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