you said red three times

so i have decided i have a new pet peeve that annoys the piss out of me. i shall explain thusly…

dear Annoying 14 Year Olds,

you live in sherwood park. sherwood park is in the prairies. sherwood park is flat. since you live in sherwood park theres a good chance you live in an upper middle class white neighbourhood and that mommy and daddy buy whatever you want for you and you happily mooch off them without thinking about how someday you have to make youre own money.

i know it’s hard to find something to do around here when you dont have school to skip out on and do nothing, but when you have no school for the summer and your doing nothing consists of biking around a flat plaza with your two buddies on mountain bikes that range in price from 1800$ to 2400$ you’re fucking tools. so i think it was only fair that when you said our golf cart was a nice ride that my asking you why youre riding a 2400$ black diamond mountain bike that’s built to take thirty foot drops around a flat plaza with all your bike armour on you should have no reason to get mad or pissy or act like you’re the fucking ruler of the world.

if you saw the bike in the bike store and thought it was shiny and pointed and daddy whipped out his credit card then i hope when you try a two foot jump you crash and you get impaled by a branch or something. seriously, i know you didnt work for your 2400$ black diamond mountain bike that’s built to take thirty foot drops that you’re riding around in circles on a flat plaza for three hours. so when i question you about where there are any black diamond bike runs around you could at least try to save face and tell me. oh that’s right…you cant. why? because the nearest one is at rabbit hill and i dont think mommy or daddy would drive you all the way out there, nor would they like little Billy Fuckyourself biking way out there on his own.

and you know what? ive biked to the highest point in this town. it aint that high. there are no places around here with thirty foot drops for your 2400$ mountain bike that you so obviously dont use for it’s intended purpose. if you’re going to bike around the plaza for three hours and get in our way while we’re working, at least do it on a bike that doesnt make you look like a fucking daddy’s boy. oh no! a curb! i need armour! oh no a crack in the pavement! i need 8 inches of dual suspension!

fuck yourself.

oh that’s right, you probly sont know what that means either.

on a seperate note…

so i guess there’s like this crazy stint of murders going on in edmonton lately. yesterday there was one thats so obviously asian gang that it just screams “ASIAN GANG DID IT!!!” but of course the police arent saying shit yet. how can i make this blatant assumption you ask? or dont ask but i’ll tell you anyway?
because watching/reading/listening to the news gives away many clues:

– high end luxury Infiniti SUV FX 45 in lower end neighbourhood
– unmarked silver van slams into SUV
– drivers duke it out grill to grill style
– dudes in van bust out they pieces an’ pop some caps in his mofo ass! or however you say that in asian gang language.
– dude in SUV gets shot 7 times, van disappears
– dude dies in hospital from 7 gunshot wounds
– Infiniti SUV is registered to a different asian dude.
-different asian dude’s wife is interviewed and said her husband bought high priced Infiniti SUV for his ‘friend’ and never told her and when she found out ‘she no like when find out first time.’

first time? what did you suffer sudden amnesia and find out twice?

oh, and guy who’s died name is Dung Something Hi To Fat Yung.

shit when your name is Dung no wonder life is crappy…

verdict? anyone? Asian Gang? East Indian Gang? Hells Angels? Christians? Postal Workers? Angry Newfies? Guy who ordered out for chinese and they fucked up his order?

i was reading in the newspaper too about how the demographics of CD purchasers is now older women and not teens cause teens use real technology instead of not trying to learn new technology like their moms and buying cds. anyway, there was this one line that was like “women buy more cds because they shop at wal-mart.” and at first i was like “that’s fucking brilliant!” and now im like “dude that is the lamest reason in the world. people shop at wal-mart because it’s a safe haven for fat fuckers, not cause they want the latest phil collins record.”

shite annoying 14 year olds make me angry at the world. not my fault. they’re annoying.

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