that was clever like a platypus

and now Ladies and Gents, it’s time fooooooooooooor…..



“what kind of fucking hobbits do they have in the bible?”

“you should be careful or the Smurfette jokes will start.”

“i dont want to be mean, but she smells like poo.”

“that leaf blower might blow him away.”

“i hate soccer people almost as much as baseball and football people. which leaves soccer.”

“no man, doughtnuts cause a vicious cycle.”

“you could get laid this weekend.” “yes i could! no i wont.”

“someone likes retro early 90s bright purple…”

“you guys are orange and purple, you dont needs safety vests.”

“my wife is fat.” “you shouldnt talk about your wife like that.” “i know, but she’s like 400 pounds.”

“i hate cake doughnuts.” “dude, if i brought them in you’d eat them.” “you’re made of cake doughnuts.”

“you look like a Hutterite.”

“she’s spent all day with a shovel and doesnt have a headache.”

“hey have you noticed how it gets warmer in the afternoon?”

“how come they always call me on the radio when i’m two feet away?”

“yeah, back in the day.” “what, 1999?”

“oh my god it’s so hot out im frying cause it’s hot in the afternoon!”

“i’ve got a pocket o’ clamps.” “how many pockets do you have in your clamps?”

“they must be from quebec.” “why’s that?” “because all they do is drink water and eat bananas.”

“he’s french because he’s waving his arms.” “or you heard him talking.”

“here’s the bottle money, i think we got jacked a few bucks.” “oh yeah?” “yeah i think they give the extra money to the taliban.”

“slow down im gonna bark at him too.” “k.” “…choke…” “you know what that’s called? karma.” “no thats called blueberry in the throat.”


gotta work late tomorrow. friggin Junior Nationals is destroying our brand new fields and i have to repaint every fucking line not even two full days into the tournament because there’s so much traffic on the fields.
gonne be a crammed few days. work late, work early again friday, go see Clerks 2, leave saturday morning for Canmore for three days. but i do get a four day weekend over august long, but thats only cause i have my final for my sociology class on the tuesday otherwise id have a three day weekend. but since the exam is on the morning of the 8th, that means i can go to Sounds of the Underground in the afternoon. killah.

17 years olds these days are crazy. they EVEN like it ass to mouth! oh randall….how youre the cornerstone of the Clerks-iverse.

joel sigel walked out of a Clerks 2 screening 40 minutes in, yelling and swearing and nwo you can listen to him try to apologize to kevin smith on a radio show.

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