what did you want to be Raymond K. Hessle?


i was hoping it would piss rain all day and we’d get to go home. no dice. and the craptacular thing is that half our crew was phoned and told not to come in cause it was shitty out this morning, so there was like 5 of us there wondering where the hell everyone else was.

thats ok though cause in our crappy-day-this-sucks-i-dont-want-to-be-here-right-now wanderings we found a big fucking patch of raspberries that no one had pilfered. and i mean huge patch. like, bring your pails and a lunch huge. so ima gonna head back over there later and snag me some containers full. might as well cause otherwise theyd just go to waste.

also, we found a small patch of what looks characteristically like weed plants, but they arent weed pants, but they look enough like weed plants that you could pick the leaves and have some fun with stupid people. seriously, these plants are weird. exact same leaf shape, height, stalk, but the seeds are a lot smaller and there’s no five leaf pattern. really, it’s a shame. it’s in a mini forest area behind a high school, so someone probly thought they were planting weed and got it all wrong. im gonna also go clip a bunch of those off and bring them back and be like “hey dad look what i found! let’s dry it and sell it!” and he’ll be all “WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET THAT! GET IT OUT OF THE HOUSE! YOU SHOULD CALL THE GODDAMN RCMP!!!” and my mom would be all “let’s smoke it.” and then i’d look at my mom and give that “you have to be joking, youre my mom” look, but in my head id be all “…you know i never asked her if shed ever been a hippie…”

im pretty sure the rest of the week is going to be a total gong show at work. weve got major projects going on that were delayed by the rain that can get started up again cause it stopped raining, and we have to prep all the fields for a big soccer tourny this weekend and we’ve got people on vacation and it’s just all going to be a ‘shake your head and keep on truckin’ kind of week i bet.

i also figured out how to do controlled tail slides with the progator. whats that? stop right beside that bench? parallel to it even? why i thought you’d never ask! i should be a fucking stunt driver or something.

–EDIT–

so, three big containers of berries later, im itchy and scratched up from crawling around in the bushes.
and.
mystery plant that isnt pot i still dont know what it is, BUT, visual test passes the “holy crap it’s pot!” test. i know this because i brought a baggie of it home and showed my dad who used to work for aadac and helped junkies get off drugs. so i pull out the baggie and im like “i found these behind the school growing on stalks.” and he looks at the bag for a sec, grabs it, looks more and says “i’ll be damned….this looks like…” and im like “hahah yeah i know!” and he looks and im pretty sure he thought it was and my mom thought it was, and then he opened the bag and ruined it, cause it doesnt have an odor. so then he’s like “no it’s not pot.” and im like “yeah i know.” but im ok with the fact that it isnt cause a) i got a crap load of fresh raspberries, and b)it passes the visual fake test. he figures it might be stinging nettle, but i dont cause i was walking around it in and im pretty sure i dont feel stung by nettles.
and then i walked in the house with dirty shoes and he was all “THERE BETTER NOT BE ANY MUD ON THE RUG!” and im thinking….fuck….only a month, only a month only a month….