he’s got a real bum’s eye for clothes

today’s quote, again not by me:

“i cant even suck it, it’s too thick.”

i scored a sweet pair of coveralls at work today and i didnt even know i was supposed to get them.
mike figures that trying to spin doughnuts in the pro gator might be bad for the grass. but then i pointed out that i had come to a stop perfectly beside the garbage can i was aiming at. is that skill or what?

golfers piss me right the fuck off. tiger woods is blaming his shitty playing on slow greens.

you know what i blame his shitty playing on?

his shitty playing.

im going to go see Nacho Libre with my friend amanda tonight.
tomorrow im going to take iris for lunch.
and then i have to figure out how to balance oilers game with seeing julia cause her boyfriend grant who is a cool guy’s mom died last week which totally fucking blows and she’s taking it pretty hard so she wants to just go somewhere and vent.

her and i have been friends since kindergarten. she’s the kind of friend where i can move all over the friggin country and everytime i come back here she’ll make time to hang out with me. last year we went camping and our tent flooded and i was having fun because i was wearing every piece of clothing i had brought and she was hating it but she stuck around to have camping bacon, and then we drove 6 hours home to where it was dry.

when we were in grande nine in our drama class we had to do The Sound of Music and i had to play captain von trapp and i wanted to play that character like i wanted to get shot in the face. but i didnt want nutcase antonio to stroke his ego and have the main role, so it was a delicate balance. i didnt even have to audition. the girls all had to audition to play Maria. kristen ross got the part.
at olph by the time we were in grade nine, i was the smartest guy, and kristen was the smartest girl. i however was still way way way into geekdom.
so, i think it was a natural assumption for people to make that i liked kristen. seriously, all through junior high and even high school it was like a fucking mission for people to find out who i liked.
and in grade nine i didnt really know enough about chicks to know anything at all so i went along with it and decided maybe i did like her.
so she got the part, and then when we were doing rehersals of that weird dance that they do in the ballroom party scene her and i had to learn it and i was like “cool i get to dance with kristen ross.” and then i was like “shit she smells like her dog that’s not so cool.”
and i know julia was pissed that she didnt get the part and in retrospect i wish that she’d gotten it instead. i think her and i would have jived better with the parts. not like it made that much difference cause there were only like 30 people in our grade nine class, so we pretty much knew everyone from kindergarten all the way up anyway.
but still.
julia’s dog dont have a smell that sticks to you.
they just drool a lot.
i dont really remember where i was going with this.
there’s like this tiny little core of staff that’s always been at that school and i go in like once or twice a year to say hi, but im sort of afraid that one of these times i go in there wont be anyone still there and i’ll be like “i dont know any of you…what did you do to my teachers?”

i have to work on fathers day. i should probly go get a card or something. if i knew how to get to wholesale sports id go there and him a box of remington HD. hahah actually, now that i think about it i’d probly pick up a box for me too, cause he doesnt use the 3 1/2 inch shells and i do and i can get a 1 3/4oz load…
i would pay good money to watch someone who’s never fired a shotgun before put one magnum 3 1/2 inch with that load through. hahahahhahah.
we took my sister out target practicing once a long time ago and she wanted to try the shot gun so my dad told me to get a shell, so i went and got the only magnum we had brought and he never noticed and it just about knocked her on her ass. if my dad hadnt had his hands out to stop her from falling she would have.

oh right. i mentioned guns. im evil now.

if i sing Eidlewise will you forgive me?

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