welcome to McWorld, do as we say


i went to the post office to mail a birthday present. i wanted it there by monday. the lady said “we cant get it there by monday even with xpresspost.” that’s bullshit. ive mailed lots of stuff on fridays thats gotten to where its going on monday. so i had to fill out the xpresspost thing and get back in line behind some old woman who had like 40 fucking money orders to make and the total was so high that computer locked out the employee cause she couldnt answer the “why is the total so high?” question it asked.
so then i wanted a big mac. the irony of my degree is that everytime i go somewhere that’s a major global company im very much aware of it.
i dont like the drive thru so i parked and went in and on my way in i kept thinking about how fucked up it is that there’s McDicks in Azerbaijan. And now there’s going to be tim Hortons in Afghanistan.
but, hey, it’s a big mac. everyone loves their bigmac.
then i walk in and i swear i almost stopped dead. this is the first time ive been in this particular micky d’s for a long while and i remember offhandedly thinking about the new paint job and where was the playzone?
look, you’re a fucking fast food restauraunt ok? the new brick inside with wooden tables, and a FIREPLACE??? much as youd like to think you’re a nice family restaurant, no. you’re a global fast food chain that’s responsible in large part for the increasing apathy of the north american population and a major player in the dramatic rise of obesity in both children and adults. a new face job on the inside of the building is not going to make your employees any less incompetent.

i think im going to go over to my elementary school in a bit and wander around and see which teachers havent retired yet. i dont think i’ll go over to the high school though.

last night i took my sistah to meet alana and emily. yayyyyyyyy page reunion! i guess there’s some mixer type thing this afternoon. they’re like, we’re going for a bit and then bailing probly. you can come. they might be all “hey look a straight boy at a womens study mixer! why arent you gay and what are you doing here?”

and yes i just realized that i was in fact talking to the McDonalds as though it were a person.

GAME FOUR! WOOOOOOOO!!! GO OILERS!!!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!!
FUCK YOU REFS!!! LEARN HOW TO MAKE GOOD CALLS!!!
CALGARY SUCKS!!! WOOOOOO!!!!

1 Thought.

  1. I haven’t eaten at McDonalds since Grade 10. But now it kind of scares me even more after reading Douglas Coupland’s “jPod”. Actually more clowns do now, moreso than before.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *